"anger is a gift"

That’s a lyric from the song “Freedom” by my old favorites “Rage Against the Machine”. I used to listen to them daily as a teenager, feeding off of the songs big time (although I never had a clue what they were talking about!). Their songs would make me angry, and I enjoyed the feeling, but it was a completely pointless emotion. My anger wasn’t fueled by anything that they were singing about- instead it was a mixture of testosterone, pure teenage rebellion, and music being played really loud.

I talked to our students today about channeling their God-given capacity for anger towards something that was actually worth getting angry about. We spend so much time getting frustrated and angry about things that don’t matter, while we don’t get angry at things that we SHOULD get angry about! I’m pretty sure that it was this guy who I first heard this idea from years ago.

We looked at the account of Jesus healing a man’s hand on the Sabbath in Mark 3. As he was preparing to heal the man, Mark writes that he was “looking around at them with anger, grieved at their hardness of heart”. They had completely missed the point of the Sabbath. Their hardened hearts were blinding them from seeing the better way to live out the commandments. But Jesus didn’t unleash the lightning bolts on them this time... (maybe if it was an OT story he would have). Instead he controlled and used his anger to fuel his next move: fixing the guy’s hand.

Then we looked at a couple verses from our old friend Amos- who pretty much lets us know that God hates church, if as a community we’re not getting angry at the right things and sticking up for people that need our help. I was going to take a look over at a time when the Apostle Paul got pretty angry, but it seemed a bit too vulgar for 9am.

I’m grateful for my gift of anger. I’m glad that I am frustrated by certain things. I’m excited to be a part of a church that gets angry about the same things, and to be alive at a time when the Church at large seems to be getting angry about them too.

Here are a few of the things I mentioned... do they make you angry?

Over 1 billion people still use unsafe drinking sources

Of the 2.2 billion children alive right now, about 1 billion live in poverty

About 5 million people in Sudan have no access to schools or health care

More than 1 billion people in the world live on $1 a day

More than 2.6 billion people lack basic sanitation needs

114 million children worldwide don’t get even a basic education

584 million women around the world are illiterate

More than 800 million people go to bed hungry every day

Someone dies of hunger every 3.6 seconds, and most of them are under the age of 5

There are approximately 27 million slaves in the world today

All of my “SUPPORT THESE PEOPLE” links on the right are organizations that are doing something about these problems.

Dear loved,

I am writing to let you know how much you mean to me, and I'm hoping you'll start to see yourself the way that I see you. There's a lie out there that says that your self-worth equals your performance plus other people's opinions. I want you to know that's a lie. If you're thinking that life is hopeless, that you cannot change, that you are what you are, then let me free you from that. If you have feelings of shame or hopelessness, let me help you, please. Through my Spirit, new life and new possibilities are awaiting. You are my new, precious creation; in my hands. There is hope, I mean this.

Sincerely,

God.

}"The Search for Significance" by Robert McGee

bus stop monster

I saw this video over at Anne Jackson's blog. The idea is so simple and so thoughtful, it makes me want to open my eyes even wider to the needs in my neighborhood.

what?

one hit oneders

That's the name of my softball team. We've gotten together a few times to practice for our season opener on September 22nd. To put this all in context: I am fairly athletic, and I can usually compete pretty well at just about any sport. I'm probably best at basketball, but that doesn't matter right now. I disclocated my shoulder a couple weeks ago, and have been sore ever since it got shoved back in. So, hitherto therefore, I have been in a pretty considerable amount of pain during our practices, sometimes resulting in erratic throws and a lack of "bendage over" for ground balls... so what does our team captain do?

He assigns me to catcher, oh and right field as a secondary position when needed. That's sort of like if Barack Obama were to offer McCain a position at the White House as say... a tour guide. Now, no offense to White House tour guides- my lovely wife used to be one I think. But is that how you treat a war hero? Is that how you treat a guy that has given everything he has for his country (or perhaps his church)?

Catcher? I dare say not, Mr. Dedmon. He's not a blogger, so he won't read this. He doesn't even Twitter... He's too busy assigning himself to short stop and/or left field.

But I still love him- because Jesus tells me I have to. Plus he seems to feel pretty bad about the whole thing.

storm coming

"He knows there is a little storm coming, but as long as I am here, he's happy."

- Tracy Bayley, referring to her 4-year-old son who has been told about Gustav.

Getting Fired for the Glory of God

Cracking this one open tonight:

{update}

I deleted this post and a few of the comments because it was turning into a witch hunt. There are plenty of places to gripe and gossip on the internet, but I'd rather not have it take place here on my blog. I received some great advice and encouragement- but a couple of the comments frustrated me so I did some erasing. I'm at peace with the situation I originally wrote about- trusting that God is plenty capable of shining light where it needs to shine.

chris gniffke

Our 5/6 pastor has got some serious skills... watch out Chris Tomlin.

planning

I'm spending the next couple of weeks planning/finalizing the calendar for the 08/09 school year! I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders this year. I finally get to be in a place that cares about the things I care about, and embraces the style and philosophy of ministry that I do. I was getting tired of striving for goals that weren't my goals, and feeling like my pink slip was right around the corner if I missed my mark (little did I know that it WAS, haha, heh, eh...).

I get so frustrated with routines, pointless programs, and sacred cows. Thank God that the leadership at Calvary does too! I'm excited for this new school year. And I'm especially excited to have such a fantastic team at my side to tackle it with!

Feel free to chime in if there's anything you'd like to add to the planning conversation! What needs to come back? What needs to go away?

clueless

I'm getting ready to speak at an event here in Santa Ana, and I decided to look through some of my notes from when I first started teaching and sharing my story. I opened up the notes from one of the first times I shared my testimony in church. The first thing I noticed is how wretched my speaking notes were eight years ago! How did I ever teach using these? They are scattered and sloppy and WORDY (sorta like ME sometimes).

I see in my notes the line, "I don't know what's happening to me!"

I said that on September 1st, 2001 at Forest Home, after a long weekend of God wreaking havoc on my life. I was a Christian at that point, but I couldn't explain the way I was thinking and seeing the world any more. It had all just changed so rapidly. I sat there in front of the crew I had come with and babbled for a minute, trying to come up with words, and then I just sat there silently for a while and soaked it in as much as I could.

I had no idea what I was in for.

seminary shmeminary

I've spent about a jillion hours on the computer comparing Talbot and Fuller seminaries. I'd like to get started on my Masters Degree in the Spring of '09, so I'm trying to get registered this month!

Right now I'm leaning towards Fuller, but the biggest obstacle is that its about an hour drive each way. They have an Irvine extension campus, but it's in a boring office building, and they primarily use adjunct faculty from other universities and churches nearby. I'm sure they're great teachers, but I'm worried about getting a second-rate experience being away from the main campus. Talbot, on the other hand, is right down the street from me (on the Biola campus). Hmm.

My lead pastor is on "the board" at Talbot (not sure which board that is), so that makes Talbot a bit more appealing. Oh and like ten of our pastors have their Masters or Mdiv from Talbot too, so they're always wearing their t-shirts and trying to convince me. Both schools have some pretty impressive alumni to brag about. Rob Bell and Rick Warren went to Fuller, which is a pretty well-rounded pair when it comes to philosophy and doctrinal stuff.

I think this might be a win-win decision either way I go, despite what criticisms and opinions the zealous alumni on both sides have to say about the other school. If Fuller can offer me a top-notch experience (without forcing me to drive two hours once a week for three years) then... I'll probably land there.

What would YOU do if you were ME?

concert for a cause

This Sunday you're invited to come to a sweet concert at Calvary (and for a good cause)!

Bring a beach chair and a picnic dinner- we move the show out to the patio!

I'm a big fan of Trevor Davis, and I've heard nothing but good stuff about Project Hangout, so Linds and I will definitely be out there!

praise the Loooooooooord

Modesty is cool?

It's on CNN, so it must be true... right?

jet lag

I've been wide awake since 3:45 this morning. I woke up and was sure it was at least 7:00 or 8:00... but nope. I tried to wake Lindsay up by rolling around over and over, but to no avail. She's still in there sleeping like a baby.

So, I did some reading, had some cereal, and now I'm trying to ignore the worldwide worship of Michael Phelps on NBC.

Now I think I'll try to figure out where to spend my next $30,000.

back from Boracay

Just got back from spending two weeks in Boracay with 16 students and 3 leaders. We partnered up with a local church in the community that is building a four-story community center (which should really just be called a church). The center will open up as a school, hospital, dental office, and church! We were able to put in the second floor, after tying a thousand pieces of rebar together, and pouring a few tons of concrete! My students did a fantastic job in less than ideal weather conditions. We also got to spend some
time visiting children in local neighborhoods- singing some songs, sharing some food, laughing a ton, and even playing a few games of basketball!

I have never sweated as much as I did over the past two weeks, which is saying a LOT. Right now it is 7pm here in California, but 10am tomorrow morning in my head... so I'm all messed up. I'm so grateful that I got to play a part in constructing this building, which will open the door to SO MUCH ministry in a year or two when they open it up! There is just nothing like this community center on the island, but there is so much need.

The people of Boracay were wonderful. They made us feel like celebrities, and they were so grateful for everything! I feel like they blessed us more than we blessed them.

ciao

I'll be taking a break from this blog for a couple weeks, but I will be one of the authors over at THIS blog while I'm gone! Swing by and say hello. I'll try to give a daily update on our happenings in Boracay (if I can make it over to the internet cafe).

We're helping to build a three-story hospital/school that will provide free medical care and education for the severely under-resourced people on the island of Boracay. We're also helping to feed somewhere around 600 small children that come every day for food and water. I'm so honored that I get to be a part of this.

It's about 90 degrees and up around 80-90% humidity, so I might be the hospital's first patient! I've got an awesome group of high school students and a few adult leaders that are ready to go. Send your prayers our way!

promise keepers

I'm heading to Boracay soon and I ran across this verse last night. It has been on my mind all day as I've thought about my role this week.

"I have given you as a covenant to the people,
a light to the nations,
to open eyes that are blind,
to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon,
from the prison those who sit in darkness."

Isaiah 42:5-7

The last four lines have all sorts of practical implications, but I have been stuck on that first line today. It says that the people of God have been not just given a covenant, but given as a covenant. We (or specifically Israel) have been called to embody the promise, to actually BE the promise.

This changes the way I understand my role as a follower of Jesus. I am to be a servant first- a living, breathing keeper and giver of God's promises. To shed light on the things of God. To help people see that God is very much available.

We're so much more than a message. Perhaps Marshall McLuhan was on to something when he said "The medium is the message".

camp highlites

I think I learned about 98% of our students' names, which I'm pretty proud of myself for doing.

The messages weren't what we expected, but God still rocked some worlds. Hume's program and rec are always top notch. No exception this year.

Some chump robbed the boys' cabin a couple times, netting about $250 when all was said and done.

I got to be a part of a "Dudes" seminar, answering questions from the 400-500 guys in the audience about everything from porn to weed to overcoming addictions.

The question "Has anyone ever told you that you look like Dane Cook" was asked of me at least 200 times.

I never went in the lake or the pool. I have no idea how that happened... I love the lake and the pool! It's hard for me to do anything else when there's a good volleyball game available.

We had the best "church wrap-up" conversation thing ever. We got all of our students together on the last day, and what happened there made me confident that God is alive and well, and that our students won't be satisfied by anything less than everything He has for them.

summer camp

We load up tomorrow morning and head to camp! I won't be bringing a laptop, and I won't have cell phone access, so I am shutting down shop here on the blog for a week.

I won't be anywhere near a computer for 27 of the next 35 days. Gonna have to bust out my trendy Moleskine!

superstition springs

Good to see my old friends getting some attention :)

I love that church!
I should stop trying to get their youth pastors to move to California.

debt vs. donation

What do you do when you have debt to pay, perhaps even high-interest debt, but you also know that people are starving to death each and every day? I've been trying to pay off some pretty significant debt for years now, and all the while I have been torn because I know that so many people are in desperate need around the world. In comparison to 95% of the world, I'm filthy rich. I haven't missed a meal in a long, long time. And even when I did, the gap wasn't very wide between meals.

But I have cable.
And I eat out all the time
And I go to coffee shops.
And I own a very nice car. Two actually.
I own a lot of clothes, even though it feels like I wear the same thing every other day.

I miss so many opportunities to help people. I have genuine desires and convictions- but I forget about them when I play the comparison game. I'm done with that.

It starts with the cable TV tomorrow. I'm going to send whatever money I used to spend on TV to Blood:Water Mission. I'll miss ESPN and all of my sitcoms, but none of that crap matters.

wordle

cool site I found via Nick Asolas' blog. This is what happened with the text from Colossians 1.

myspace is dead

funny, but not really...

Matt Doan wouldn't do that.

A handful of the leaders in the highschool ministry have been hazing me a little bit. Matt Doan, the former high school pastor, left behind a group of fellas that remind me constantly how big the shoes are that I'm co-filling. Their favorite reminder:

"Matt Doan wouldn't (say/do/think/wear) that."

go go go

This Sunday the high school ministry is loading up and heading to Hume Lake for summer camp. This will be my fifth or sixth time up at Hume, and it has always been an amazing experience. I hear that the feel is different this year. It will be a bit more analytical than emotional, which I think will be a nice break. The kids have started to anticipate the BIG nights (salvation messages, re-dedications and whatnot). Anything that keeps them guessing is a good thing.

Then I'm back home for a week before I lead a mission trip with 20 peeps to Boracay. We'll be there July 31st-August 13th helping to build the 2nd floor (of a soon-to-be 4 story building) that will serve as a hospital/school where people can receive free medical treatment and an education. This is what St. Francis had in mind when he said we can preach the gospel without saying a thing. It's not the whole gospel, but meeting these physical needs is gospel.

THEN I'm back for like four days before I head to our high school ministry's annual RIVER ROMP. We're spending four days at a lake (irony), and I hear that it is an amazing, amazing week. Why we planned three big trips this close together, me don't know. But I'm excited :)

After that I'm taking six months off to recover on a tropical island with Lindsay. All we need is plane tickets and an island, some spending money, and a little bit of vacation time. Anyone wanna make a donation?

come on down!

I'm going to try to convince my AMAZING boss Eric that he should take the staff to The Price is Right for the next "day away". They film the show nearby and I REALLY want to go!

I played this game from my couch almost every day when I was jobless... I had a nice little routine involving the show, some coffee, my laptop, and some Honey Bunches of Oats. I almost ALWAYS do better than the people on the show, and I'm pretty sure I could spin that wheel right to the $1 every time.

I have a feeling that I'd get picked to be a bidder. I'm just kind of lucky like that. I hear that if you bring a crowd of 20+ they try to get at least one of you up there.

If Eric doesn't want to plan it, do YOU wanna go with me and Linds?

day away

Every couple of months the pastors at Calvary get away for a "day away". We spent a couple hours at Dana Point doing some solo time, grabbed some lunch, and then we got into some wiffleball action! It was a great time for me to see these guys at their best, especially our family pastor Jeff Biddle on the bottom left flashing some Hasselhoff chest hair as he rounds third!

colossians

I told my students that I'd send em to summer camp at Hume Lake for free in 2009 if they memorize Colossians by the time we leave ( a $500+ value). This is the second time I've offered this. I feel a little guilty for asking them to do something I haven't done myself. I was at a conference a few years back when Louie Gig challenged 15,000 people to memorize it. I wonder how many of them did it. I wonder if I could do it.

p.s. Giveaways like this are simple, and you don't have to sell your soul to make it happen. You just add a couple bucks to the cost for the other students. If they complain about the two bucks, tell them it's sort of like tithing. If they complain about tithing, tell them they don't love Jesus. If they complain about you saying that, well, that makes sense because you shouldn't have said that.

you might be a redneck pastor

if this is your youth group.

I've lost all hope...

Forgive me.

Is this a pointless prayer? Do you need to ask for forgiveness even when you already have it?

I said something in passing in my talk on Sunday that might have confused some of my students. I thought I was clear, but I got some feedback that has me wondering. I said that as a Christian, it doesn't make any sense to pray for forgiveness- Giglio said something very similar at a PDYM conference a handful of years ago. But do you agree?

bible error

PETA would have been all over Jesus for this one.

it could be worse

We're meeting all the students at the beach tomorrow to play some volleyball...

hope your job rocks like mine :)

things that still go bump in the night

So I walk up the stairs... and I'm pretty frustrated. Neighbor guy has been rattling our apartment all day AGAIN. I thought to myself that I should pray before I go up, you know, to have the mind of Christ. But I didn't. Thought I should confess that.

A guy in his 40's answers. I explain. He says it was his SON that was staying at his place when Lindsay went up (so it was his son who did the stomping). That kid's got a headlock coming.

Then he invites me to come inside his apartment. I concur.

It's totally quiet. He's actually watching the same show we're watching. But its sounds the same in his apartment as it does in ours. His speakers just bump, even when they're not bumping.

He turned the bass setting down.

fin.

if you don't own a bazooka

thanks brad!

things that go bump in the night

Noisy neighbor update:

Lindsay wouldn't let me go upstairs and talk to him. She thought I would be too intimidating or something... I was a little bit insulted.

"You don't think I can handle this? I'm not going to stab the guy or something! I AM a pastor, you know..."

"I just think it would be less intense if it was me, not you."

So she went to talk to him. Now, what I'm tempted to say here is "Never send a woman to do a man's job", but that would be a really jerky thing to say, and I'm a nice guy. Plus I thought it was a great idea. I had planned all of the gracious and unintimidating things to say, but I kept playing the wrong movies in my head about how it all might go down. You know what I mean?

Ya see... I used to be a pretty hardcore gangster. And sometimes I have flashbacks- like with the neighbor situation. I pictured something starting with a ninja kick to his door, followed by some cartwheels and a lot of shouting from me in German. I didn't foresee any violence in my movie, because I figured that the cartwheels and shouting would have sent him running out the back door. Then I would duct tape a thousand m80's to his stereo and escape just before the atomic subwoofer explosion.

But that didn't happen. Instead she went up and knocked on his door. She asked him to turn it down and he said "no problem". The apartment was really dark and he was alone, fyi. A one-man party.

About 30 minutes later he was bumping again. He played the nice guy when she knocked, but then went back to being thuggish ruggish. And to make things worse, he stomped his foot on the floor (our ceiling) five or six times... just to make it crystal clear that he was a punk.

So we went to the office to ask what was acceptable and the lady made us fill out a report. They sent him a letter, and it didn't work.

Thumper is upstairs right now, and he's got the bass cranked again.

I want to be friends, but Thumper wants war.

I'm going up there. Stay tuned :)

trust

If only this was the relationship that all of our military personnel had with our neighbors across the sea. I'd be much more compelled to pledge my allegiance.

thursdays

Tomorrow morning is our second summer bible study. About 30 guys come out to dig into the word. I'm going to bring all of my commentaries, concordances, a laptop, and some books with subject and verse indexes for easy searching- then put the guys in small groups, and have them go do some digging.

Then we'll come back together to put it all together. It should look something like a hunt for treasure, with every group having one piece of the map. We had a sweet plan for last week too, but then we ended up just talking about dating and, um, stuff.

prayer

I'm teaching on prayer this weekend, so I'm tracking down some videos to prime the pump before I dig in. Found a perfect one for this week!

what if

What if there was no heaven or hell- would you still be a Christian?

Why?

Why not?

Boracay

Looks like I'm heading to Boracay with a team of our high school students! We're over there on August 1st-14th to do meet a handful of needs.

When I Google "Boracay" I find all sorts of information on tourism, and a multitude of pictures that look very Hawaii'ish.

It's sad how often poverty and paradise are neighbors.

More info to come :)

staring contest

Let's see what you've got!!

loving my neighbor

new five dollar bill

Reason #486 why Lindsay should let me buy a motorcycle!!! My motives for wanting one are selfless and purely economical.


She just said "keep dreaming".

summer promo video

we played this a couple Sundays ago as a part of our summer kickoff

can you keep a secret?

You don't have to answer that question, and I'm sorry, but I don't have a secret to share with you. But... I'm not sure what blogs you peruse, most of mine are church workers of some sort. I subscribe to about 30 different blogs, and I've bookmarked a few dozen others that I check from time to time. In my perusing, I've noticed a common trend amongst the Jesus tribe.

Bragging.

I'm sure I'm guilty too, at least on a subconscious level. Maybe the main difference between me and the obvious braggers is that I'm more creative in how I share my awesomeness (sarcasm).

But is anyone ever really impressed by all of this boasting, name dropping, and chest puffing?

I'm going to spend this week chewing on a handful of verses I've found that revolve around this issue, like Matthew 6:3.

I feel bad for not sharing a secret, so... I pluck my eyebrows. If I didn't at least once a week I'd look like this guy.

week one

We had a great first week in California! We're headed back to the beach in a couple hours- for the third time this week. We took the high school students out for a bonfire on Wednesday night. Just sharing in the sufferings of Christ, ya know~

my holy name

This is the first week for our freshmen. They were a little nervous on Sunday, which is pretty understandable. It's a scary thing to be a freshman! They're vulnerable little creatures.

On the first day of my senior year in high school a few of my friends and I stood at the entrance of our campus and waited for the freshmen to arrive.

We walked over to them individually and asked if we could help them find where they needed to go. Because that's what nice guys do, right?

Innocent Freshman: "I'm supposed to be in the 'C Building' for math in two minutes!"

Wicked Ryan: "Oh ok, well you just walk down this path right here for about a hundred yards, hook a left, then a right, then another right, and you're there buddy! Hey look for me at lunch, you can sit with us!"

Well that seems pretty helpful doesn't it? Except that we would point them in the exact opposite direction than where they should be going, ha!

I'm trying to redeem myself! I know that there are so many names that our students will learn in the coming months, but only one that can point them towards the best kind of life. Only one that can satisfy them. I think that's why God is so protective of His name... he doesn't want anyone to be misled! To make any other name great, including mine, is to mislead them.

First Monday

Spent the beginning of the day at Huntington Beach with my team picking out a spot for our summer kickoff bonfire, and then the five of us went different directions and did some solo time. So good.

Last night we put together a Freshman Dessert to welcome the newbies to the high school ministry. We've got awesome freshmen coming our way! My favorite part of the night was watching the way-too-cool-for-this student go from completely indifferent to completely tuned in about 20 minutes later. Love it. I was that kid, so I have a lot of patience.

These first few days have been amazing.

wanna be cool?

Follow me as I follow Christ. - 1 Cor 11:1

almost settled

A heat wave hit Orange County this week... fantastic timing! I looked like Nixon during the 1960 Presidential debates this morning up on stage. A few days ago someone actually asked "Hey Ryan, are you ok???" as I was carrying boxes into our apartment covered in sweat. It's filthy hot outside...

This morning was Sunday #1 at Calvary for Linds and I, and "Promotion Sunday" for the freshman class. We've got a little party planned for them at 7:00, so I'm taking a break at Panera again. I love the food here, but Paradise Bakery was a cooler environment. They both have free coffee, so I'm able to indulge all day long in my socially acceptable addiction.

The sermon today in "big church" was titled "What Happens When I Die?", and it got me hungry to get back into some teaching. It made me wish that churches were set up in a way that was more of a tag-team teaching approach. Eric was bringing the heat, and I don't mean that I wanted to have him sit down, I just wanted to tap in and share some thoughts! This series looks like a great one.

This week is nuts. We've got the freshman shindig tonight, then tomorrow and Tuesday are full-swing with meetings and first week stuff, there's a bonfire at the beach on Wednesday for the high school kiddos, and then a Bible study on Thursday morning! It'll be a great week to get to know the team and the kids. Speaking of the team, they were awesome this morning. They stepped up big time when about 94 challenges were handed to them at the last minute. I'm really looking forward to working with all of them!!! First up, I think we'll run through Strengths Finders, and then some Made to Stick action after that!

we have arrived

We're here! We don't have internet access in our apartment yet, so we're hanging at Panera for a few minutes to check our email. Bella is with her new family, loving their humongous back yard and adorable kids. They have a little girl named Ella, which has got to be confusing them nicely...

I probably won't be blogging for a few days, but you can follow the twitter trail if you're cool.

Oops! Panera closed 18 minutes ago... gotta go!

Miss you Arizona.

Hello CALIFORNIA :)

the life and times of Lindsay Guard

So here’s what Lindsay’s last couple weeks have looked like. I was along for much of this ride, but she was there for all of it.

She left her job as a nanny two weeks ago, saying goodbye to two little adorable boys she has been watching for something like three years.

She then immediately flew to California and picked out an apartment for us (not one of the ones I had previewed, but a nicer one). All of that while waiting moment-to-moment for her sister to call and say when she was going into labor, with what would be Lindsay’s first nephew or niece (we didn’t know which at the time).

She then flew from California to Ohio and waited a handful of days for her sister to finally give birth. She then fell in love with baby Eli. Like... deep love. Pretty much all of Ohio and West Virginia came to visit the baby boy

Had to say goodbye to baby Eli, and the rest of her family, to come back to Arizona and say goodbye to our friends and family here before we pack up and head to California on Wednesday.

We then came to the realization that our two-year-old dog Bella was not going to be able to come with us to California. We’re still working through this one, but we know for sure that she won't be living with us in three days, no matter where she ends up.

Saying goodbye, then hello, then hello, then goodbye, then goodbye, then goodbye, and then hello… or something like that.

I love my wife… because she is strong. These past few weeks have been a rollercoaster of emotions, and she has handled it so well.

"We are gradually becoming the kind of people that we will be forever." - Dallas Willard, "Hearing God"

bella

This is horrible.

We're moving into an apartment with a 35lb weight limit for dogs, and our Bella girl is at least 50. The biggest limit we could find was 50, and she'll be 70 by next year...

We're going to have to give her away... right now the plan is to give her to my brother and his wife. She works with a boxer adoption agency, so the people will have to pass some sort of tests, and be interviewed, and jump through some other hoops to get her. So we'll know that she'll be with people who definitely want her- but that doesn't change the fact that she's our dog. Our hope was that she would land with somebody we know, either here in Arizona or in California, but so far that hasn't worked out.

This is one goodbye that I wasn't expecting...

Anybody want an amazing dog?

needle and thread

If you asked me to play you one song on my iPod that I hoped you would fall in love with, it would be "Needle and Thread" by Sleeping at Last. I played this game with a friend recently, asking him to pick a song on his iPod for me to listen to and I picked this one for him on mine. He picked some rap song, which made me feel like a nerd for picking this one. But I'd pick this one ten times out of ten...

This song makes my heart burn. Like when the disciples were walking down the road feeling pretty low, and Jesus came right up to them but they were somehow oblivious that it was him. Remember what they said?

³²They asked each other, "Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?"

This week I was constantly humming and singing this song as I spent some time in the hospital welcoming Eli Stumpf into the world :) It's a perfect song for this little miracle man.

Take a listen to the lyrics of this ridiculously good song.

the girl effect

theyhadababyitsaboy

I've been in Ohio for the past few days awaiting the arrival of my nephew. He ended his days as a belly fish at 7:01 this morning! Welcome Eli Ryan Stumpf to the world:


He's an adorable little thumbsucker, and quite the beast, weighing in at like 9 1/2 bags of chips! For you vegetarians, that's 9 pounds and 6 ounces.

We're back on a plane this Sunday to head to Arizona for CRAZY WEEK! We leave for California on Wednesday morning :) :( :)

I can't wait to start working so I have something worthgwhile to contribute to the world (and by the world I mean this blog.)

p.s. That picture was taken with my Treo, which I still detest. I would trade Zack Morris straight up any day of the week.

a living house

This illustration from George McDonald has always been one of my favorites. Its a perfect reminder for me as I wake up every day to some new surprise.

Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of- throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.

solo time

I love having some solo time, but I miss my wife. She's been traveling for a few days now.

I love being around people, but I also love to be a hermit sometimes.

I love telling stories in a room full of friends, or speaking in front of crowds, but I also love sitting in a crowded room and saying nothing sometimes.

Today I did some reading at Paradise Bakery and sort of got to do both; I was alone, but in a room full of people.

Tonight it's just me and my boxer Bella. I've got some NBA action about to begin, and I got a manly movie from Blockbuster.

And I'm having a hard time enjoying it.

home sweet home!

Lindsay got the job done today!

She went to California and picked an apartment for us. Floor plans are always boring when they look like the one on the left, but she said this one's pretty cool. We wanted to keep it simple, and we got a better deal on the rent than what is listed on their website.

It is in the city of Tustin, which for you Lost fans out there, is the fictional hometown of John Locke!!!

It looks like we're moving on June 18th... we'll need some help packing on the 17th, so call me up if you're local and might be able to swing by!

Excited :)

thank you Google

For finding this little ditty starring a handful of my new cohorts at Calvary.

head=spinning

Lindsay flies out to California tonight to do some apartment shopping tomorrow. I'm not going because I've already been out there and seen a handful of ones I liked- she can pick whichever one she wants though.

Tomorrow night she hops on a plane from Orange County to Ohio because her big sister is about to bring a baby girl into the world! I'm guessing its a girl, because the dad is a big manly-man type, and manly men always have little girls. But we really don't know for sure.

When the baby is born I'll hop on a plane and head out there too. But I'm staying here until then to pack up our house, and also to drive up to Prescott for a little family get-together before we move.

We will both, at some point, come back to Arizona, load a Uhaul, and drive to California.

So Lindsay is in Arizona then California then Ohio then Arizona and then California, over a period of about 12 days. I'm not quite as hectic, but it's not pretty!!

Rock stars?

can you juggle?

This dude can. Get this guy on Letterman (and with some better music).

loved

I stumbled upon this picture here. I stared at it for a while, and then wrote a couple paragraphs of thoughts that came to mind... and then I deleted them. It just seemed appropriate to keep this one simple.



I'm praying tonight for a friend who has forgotten what the pages of this book were inviting him to.

It's so easy to be distracted.

Merge on the move!

I heard recently that Cornerstone has hired Nathan Maples as the new high school pastor. That news honestly made my day!

I know that some of you guys reading this are Merge students, and I want you to know that I'm giving Nathan a huge thumbs up! He's a great fit for Cornerstone, and I know he's got a huge heart... so welcome him and his family by showing them lots of love!

weekend adventure

Flew out to Santa Ana last Friday for Man Camp. Arrived in Santa Ana via Southwest Airlines, who somehow lost fifty-something bags from my flight, including mine. I was told to come back in a couple hours because the bags were on the next plane to Santa Ana... nope, they put them on a plane to San Jose. Went to Man Camp in pure manly-fashion, with only the clothes on my back. My bag was eventually delivered to the camp, halfway through the weekend...

I forgive you Southwest, but only because you gave me a travel voucher for $100.

The weekend was great! Our speaker was Dr. Barry Corey, the President of Biola University. He had some great things to say. I met about 200 men from the church at the camp, and got to spend some time getting to know the other pastors on the team too. Al in all, it was a fantastic weekend. I wish my wife could have come along, but... she's not a man.

Speaking of my wife- you should ask her if you can come over for dinner some time, because she just learned a recipe for some ridiculously good chicken enchiladas!!!!

saying goodbye

I've lived here my entire life; 29 years right here in this patch of sand.

I only know in part what my wife must feel immensely, what it is to leave a place so familiar. What it is to leave home.

This is where I live. This is home for me.

I'm ridiculously excited about what is to come, don't get me wrong... but I can't shake this feeling. It feels like... mourning.

I'll probably never be back. My life will never be the same.

My wife must be a very strong person, because this is difficult.

I'll miss my family, and my friends, and all of the incredible students.

I'm about to go do life with a brand new bunch of people... but I'm sure that won't diminish what I feel for this place or these people.

Good stuff.

man camp

I'm heading out to California for the weekend to attend MAN CAMP with my new church. Check out one of the videos the guys on the staff put together.



You can see the others over HERE if you think that one's funny.

Looking forward to hanging with all the guys on the team and the other brothas that come too!

by this time next year

This will be me.

follow the leader

If you're a church worker, you've probably heard of John Maxwell. He's like a superhero in the Church. I love the guy. He won me over at a Catalyst Conference a few years ago. More on that later...

John has written like 25 books on leadership. He's a guru on the subject. I own like seven of his books. I like them. They're good. Read them.

But lets be honest: some of these pastors that specialize in "leadership" are lousy pastors. They're good at leading, but nobody wants to follow them. They don't even seem to like the people they are leading, or God for that matter. They're great with charts and graphs and procedures, but they are horrible shepherds. They have scripts and cliche' statements that they use to make it seem like they care, but anyone with an ounce of discernment can see right through it all.

But John isn't in that category.Well, based on what he said at this conference, I'm assuming he's not. He said something like this:

The only thing that matters is the type of person you are becoming. Focus all of your attention and energy on that, and all of this other stuff will come with it.

He said this while sitting on a stool in front of 15,000 pastors... and he was sobbing. Not like fake, Emmy Award winning tears, but as far as I could tell very genuine tears.

I know we have a job to do. I know we have people to lead, and we need structure and vision and training and systems and leadership principles to follow... but more than that we need to be pursuers of Jesus. This has been my focus- my breath of fresh air these past few months. I'm starting over. I'm being reminded what is most important.

The quote in this picture I took is from "Hearing God", by Dallas Willard. Read it a few times :)

caption contest!

This is one of about 50 ridiculous shots from a little bowling adventure last Tuesday. I still have no idea how that happened!

business cards

Did some digging and found a website with 42 alternatives to boring old business cards.

Check it out HERE!

I can think of about a dozen cool ways to use ideas like these in the church.

Halloween Party...
Black and Orange balloons...

Or maybe an air freshener for a teaching series on how to keep things fresh in your walk with God?
Someone probably already thought of that...

go west, young man!

So, I've got some big news!

I accepted a position in the high school ministry at Calvary Church of Santa Ana!!

Linds and I fell in love with this church and the staff right away. They've got huge hearts, an amazing reputation, and a really compelling vision! We'll be joining a team that already has a thousand amazing things going for them. We haven't nailed down a start date, but I think we're aiming for June 22nd. That's their promotion Sunday, so... I'll be new and scared, the incoming freshmen will be new and scared, and it will be perfect :)

We're definitely sad to say goodbye to our amazing friends in AZ. We love you guys so much, and you are all invited to come and visit us any time! We may be in an apartment for a little while, so you might be on the couch, but who cares?!?! We're like ten minutes from the beach, and Disneyland, and I'm sure a million other things.

Much more info to come!

a way with words

I love when my wife shares her heart with the blogworld.

So, last night I was walking Bella and...

true story.

Never a dull moment in the life of Ryan Guard.

Maybe God has something up his sleeve in this whole thing...

the Palm Treo

So I renewed my contract with Sprint a couple months ago and got this

It looks sweet, right? I needed something that would sync up with my calendar and email and all that, and it does.

But it is a lousy phone! Why?

It picks up EVERY single background noise within fifteen feet, and amplifies that noise by about 100 decibels.

So, If I'm sitting on my couch and I've got a load of clothes in the washer, people think I'm out white-water rafting. I've had some long phone calls and tried to sneak into the bathroom a few times... busted every time. That's embarrassing folks! But do you know when it's the worst?

When I'm on a phone interview with a church. The Palm Treo is my talking stain...

kingdom vs. candles

In the previous "Drop it Like a Tot" post I responded to a comment that had been made, and in my response I created a little scenario. It might be a good idea if you go read that really quick, and then come back and read the rest of this. So go ahead :)

Welcome back. So, Lindsay and I have been attending SSCC for the past couple of months while we wait to see where God is going to land us. I've been friends with the youth pastors for a while now, and I met with their senior pastor last year to talk about partnering with him on some amazing stuff they've put together.

All that to say: my scenario came to life today. After a sweet morning of worship, the pastor Mark said:

"We usually give the moms of SSCC a nice candle or some flowers as a gift on Mother's Day. But... candles melt, and flowers eventually wilt, so we thought that we would do something that would last a little longer, and would reflect the hearts of our moms. So... we decided to buy beds for the women and children living at The House of Refuge, because right now many of them have to sleep on the floor. We thought that you guys might appreciate that more than a candle, so we bought the beds on your behalf, using the money that we would have used for your candles or flowers."

Linds had read my little scenario, and so we both looked at each other as he was talking and made faces like, "Are you kidding me??" I hate seeing Lindsay cry... except in moments like this, when the tears are from an overwhelming sense of joy. It was awesome.

And tonight, about 70 moms and 140 children are sleeping in beds, and not on the hard floor, because the Kingdom of God is alive and well.

How do you remember that?

I get that question pretty often from relatives or from anyone I might be talking to about my childhood... I have some really vivid, yet completely random memories about growing up. I can remember a few things as early as four years old... sort of like snapshot memories with a pretty descriptive subtitle.

And I can typically retain most of what I read these days, so I'm good for a quote or two. Its the same with movie lines. You might say some word, any word really, and it will instantly push a button in my brain that triggers a movie line, or a memory, or something else like that. But while I think about it, I'm horrible with directions (Lindsay is my little road map sitting shotgun), so I have a somewhat selective memory I guess.

But I've got nothing on this lady.

Would you consider this a blessing or a curse?

drop it like a tot

The Church is pretty desperate to reach the masses these days, so much so that they have tried just about every gimmick imaginable. We get Christian celebrities to come speak at our churches, helicopters to come drop Easter eggs, we give away Hummers and Harleys, we make it snow in the desert, we hand out door prizes, free dinners, and trips... not to mention a million other creative ideas. Now I'm not saying they're all bad ideas (although I am saying that they are gimmicks). But there's one gimmick that I haven't seen here yet. It's actually more of a ritual, sort of like communion or baptism...

But not quite.

It's only a matter of time before we see... the baby drop.

Dear diary

Well here we are, 26 days before the severance package ends. I thought that by now I would have landed a job, sold the house, and saved the day. But so far... no such luck. For those of you that own a house in Arizona, you know that this is no longer something to be excited about. I think that I could sell my baseball card collection for more than my house right now.

Right now we have a handful of churches we're talking to. There are a couple in California, one in Florida, and all-the-sudden this beauty in Nashville just hit the radar. There's a local church that I'd love to work at, but I'd have to Tonya Harding a friend of mine to get the job I'd want. I've applied at IJM like eight times and World Relief a time or two, but apparently I'm rejection-letter material. That's ok, because I'm horribly under-qualified for every job I keep applying for!! My cover letters are pretty inspiring though...

This whole thing has been crazy, but the truth is, I've never felt closer to God. It's a different kind of closeness than I'm used to for sure, but it's a closeness nonetheless. I have no idea how we're going to pull all of this off, but I'm confident that God will provide everything we need. It might not look like what I had in mind, but at the end of the day, we're in good hands. There are a couple churches we're really excited about, and even if those don't work out, I have no doubt that God will find a place for us to plug in and do some damage for the kingdom. We'll keep you posted!

prayer

I heard this sermon by Louie Gig a few years ago at a PDYM conference, and it has pretty much reconstructed the way I pray. I think it is worth your 53 minutes.

– Prayer

speaking of money...

Here's some good news!!

75 inches

That's how tall I am, when I'm not slouching.

According to Malcolm Gladwell's latest book:

• In the US population, about 14.5% of men are six feet or taller
• Among CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, that number is 58%
• Only 3.9% of American men are 6'2" or taller
• Researchers discovered that an inch of height is worth $789 a year in salary (because tall people typically get paid more. It's science.)

So... as you may know, I have been interviewing at some churches lately. Some of those churches have Googled me and found this site. And I thought it was important for them to know that, according to my height...

I'm worth $59,175 annually. Bling Bling!!! haha!!!


How much are you worth?